NFL Week 1 Roundup

         Sorry for the lack of updates but I’ve been very lazy kinda busy this week.  Here are the NFL’s biggest stories from Week 1 (at least from an Eagle fan’s perspective).

The Eagles came out flat, until Donte Stallworth decided to light up the Texans and Donny Mac realized he was, in fact, an elite QB.  Westbrook was amazing, as usual.  The defense looked stout, sacking David Carr (shocker) 5 times though Sheldon Brown had an Izel Jenkins moment there for a second.  Mario Williams was a complete non-factor and the Texans rushed for slightly more than 70 yards.  Probably should have gone with Reggie Bush, eh Kubiak? 

The Birds banged out an important 24-10 win and now remain in their rightful place, perched all alone at the top of the NFC East.

Elsewhere around the league:

Apparently Eli and Peyton Manning played each other on Sunday Night Football.  It wasn’t really advertised all that much so I’m not sure if you noticed.  In fact, I thought about calling it the Manning Bowl, or maybe the Brother Ball, or maybe Manning v. Manning but the networks wouldn’t get back to me.  I hope those suits came up with something at least half as clever as that.

The Redskins BLOW.  I was happy for Brad Childress and Billy McMullen.  He finally helped out the Eagles, though in an atrocious purple uniform.

Drew Bledsoe blows about as much as the Redskins.  3 picks?  Time to trade in the Robo for a Romo.

Trent Green got absolutely ruined by Robert Geathers.  Though Green and Geathers went down at about the same time, the Chiefs are lobbying the NFL for a review.  Sad thing is, even if the hit is deemed illegal, that’s the most respectable thing a Bengal has done the past few months.

Michael Vick is STILL being fellated by the talking heads.  10-22 of 140 yards?  Truly an elite QB. 

Speaking of pundit fellatio, can all you clowns get off your knees now that Carolina and Dallas got exposed? I’m talking to you, ESPN.

Apparently Tom Jackson called Michael Irvin a retard.  Pot/kettle there, TJ.

 Jake Plummer looks like Jake the Mistake again.

Sean Salisbury got a haircut.  He still makes absolutely no fucking sense when he talks.

Wiz Wits:

Joe, our resident Sixers expert, thinks Matt McCoy is going to screw the Birds with a costly personal foul at some point this season.  Jason Short now has competition for biggest maniac on the team.

Penn State got the Graterford treatment from Notre Dame.  That game was painful.

The Phils are sluggish, going 5-6 in their last 11.  The starting pitching has been so-so and the bullpen absolutely horrid.  Arthur Rhodes, while I appreciate him calling Corey Lidle a fat ass, just sucks.  The hitting with RISP, as usual, has been shitty.  Ryan Howard is still super human though.  MVP!

P.S.  The Graterford thing was a rape joke.