Meet Your New Eagles Secondary

 Ok, this clearly isn’t the Birds secondary.  I actually have no idea who it is just like most of us have no idea who Joselio Hanson is.  And admit it.  If Dex Wynn or Joselio were in this photo, you wouldn’t be able to pick them out.

This is the state of the Eagles secondary.  M. Lew can’t cover or fall on fumbles on the 5.  Sheldon Brown is getting increasingly prone to brain farts.  Lito is out indefinitely.  Rod Hood is out (ever think you’d miss Rod Hood?).  Ol’ Skeletor, Jim Johnson, is gonna have a hell of a time in his nickel and dime packages. 

     

So what do we do?  We pick up a white CB.  Dustin Fox.  Name me one good white CB ever.  How about just a white DB?  And Adam Archuleta, Jason Sehorn and John Lynch aren’t any good.  John Lynch is a star cause he’s “throwback” (whatever the fuck that means), Sehorn was a star because he married that smokeshow from Law & Order and Adam Archuleta is a star for the same reason Dane Cook is a zillionaire:  Because God is cruel and spiteful.

We might as well call up Izel Jenkins.  I’m pretty sure he’s not gainfully employed right now.  How about Blaine Bishop?  DeAuntae Brown, anyone?  Anyone?