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Ya Gotta Believe….Sorta.

1993.  Remember what you were doing 1993?  I was in the sixth grade, getting ready to make my confirmation.  All jazzed up about notching all those sacraments.  Baptism.  Check.  First Communion.  Check.  First Confession.  Check.  I was a fucking Catholic machine.

Now I don’t go to church anymore.

But, perhaps more importantly (and certainly more blasphemic), 1993 was the last year the Phils made it to the playoffs. 

The Broad Street Bellies.  Those guys were endearing.  But, to be sure, they were a pretty fucked up group.  Lenny Dykstra wrapping his corvette around a tree after Krukker’s bachelor party.  Darren Daulton (who can now travel through time) beating the shit out of his Hooters girlfriend.  Good times.

Now, the new Phightin’ Phils, while longer on youth and decidedly shorter on dirt, are taking the NL Wild Card race by storm.  Abreu?  Gone.  Bell?  Gone.  Fatass Lidle?  Gone.  Ryan Franklin?  Gone.  Ugueth Urbina?  Rotting in a Venezuelan jail for drunkenly lighting dudes on fire and chopping them up with machetes, but still gone.  And yet, they didn’t fall apart.  Ryan Howard picked this team up and put them on his substantial back and said “Come on, Motherfuckers.  Jump on.  It’s much easier to carry you without Fatass Lidle here.”  And that’s what they did.

To be fair, it’s not just Rhyno.  The pitching has come around.  King Cole is turning into a true ace.  Brett Myers (No, I’m not going to.  I’m not that lowbrow, now) struck out 12 Cubs last night.  And the best defensive addition to this team?  Abraham Fucking Nunez.  And to think, he rode the pine behind David Bell?  Way to go, Charlie.  This guy is a Hoover on the hot corner.  But where’s his fan group?  Honest Abes?  Abe’s Babes? I just thought of two good ones in two seconds.  Get on it!

We just might see some October baseball in these parts.  And while Philly is, and always will be a football town first (and hockey town second, even), this is the perfect time to get the city back into the game.  It’s all on you 2005 Phillies.

It’s up to you to save baseball in Philadelphia. 

Ha-fucking-HA

I love The Onion.  Ask anyone.  I have all their books.  But this is really not that funny:

The Eagles are Awesome.

Chase Utley: Still Every South Philly Girl’s MVP

 Chase Utley hit a walkoff bomb in the bottom of the tenth off of Dave Borkowski to end the Phillies 12 game, 2 year losing streak to Houston.  And Ryan Howard hit another tremendous home run (ho hum).  And Cole Hamels pitched outside of his mind, retiring the first 17 batters he faced (yawn).  And I finally got to see Jose Hernandez play.  And I got to see Jose Hernandez pop out weakly to first with the bases drunk in the bottom of ninth with two down.  Way to go, Old Timer.